Goggle Bob

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:16:53 GMT

I'm a rockstar...

Baby, I'm a rockstar...

Tell me I'm the only one.

Still can't dance though...

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:58:13 GMT

Could someone please explain what I'm supposed to be seeing here?

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:18:30 GMT

Can't... look... away... from this.

(This is what I've been doing since August.)

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:56:50 GMT

Last night I had a dream...

So, Adolf Hitler (World War II, Star Trek) was trying to drug and kidnap me on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. I thwarted his nefarious plans by tricking one of his henchmen, but I also spit in the face of another of his henchmen, so I had to be "punished" by being forced to watch Hitler's one man stage show. It was revealed during this really awful play by/performed by Hitler, that the reason ol' Adolf disliked me so much was that we have birthdays so close together (me: April 18, Hitler: April 20). I woke up right about the part I started heckling him about the holocaust.

I don't think I'm ever going to sleep again.

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 00:35:41 GMT

So, for those of you who don't know, for some completely weird reason, the high school girls at Shriver's have some strange preoccupation with yours truly. It used to start with small back-and-forth teasing, and has now come to the point where they have created a MySpace for me. Keep in mind I have absolutely no control over this MySpace, and I maintain that I really have no MySpace. Also I guess they claim I'm gay and have AIDs. I think. Just so you know.

Oh, speaking of high school, this is terrifying.

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:46:51 GMT

Wed, 09 May 2007 15:52:50 GMT

Good news, everyone!

I finally have a coffee mug that grants me superpowers...

I'd post more about it, but I've been really depressed lately; however, I am sure that is completely unrelated to my black, shiny, new mug.

"I want to drink from your brains!"

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 20:54:13 GMT

For those of you who don't already know, as of September, I got my own place, and it's rather nice; however, a strange problem has occurred. I've got this rubber ducky sitting next to my shampoo in the shower, and this strange "drippage" appears to be falling from the area of the duck. At first I considered that the duck may be losing some level of dye, or that the shampoo has sprung a leak, or it's some strange kind of water damage, but then it occurred to me that there might be a less mundane reason...

I am being haunted by the lousiest ghost ever.

All it can do is make rubber duckies appear to bleed.

Gaze upon this grim visage of the boredom of the hereafter.

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 21:29:58 GMT

My New Year's resolution is to bring the sexy back.

I'm probably going to be charged a late fee as it is...

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 02:46:03 GMT

So, according to my Wii Weather Channel today, the temperature was somewhere around 60 degrees fahrenheit in the afternoon. The day before Christmas. In New Jersey.

Al Gore, only you can save Christmas!

(And certainly not these two.)

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 02:15:42 GMT

I went to a Muslim funeral yesterday. It was a real sausage party.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 20:00:01 GMT

Sometimes I forget this thing exists... hmm... post... post...

Oh, here's one.

Whether you're married or whatever, assume you were single, and went on a date with your literal better half, not someone who completes you or compliments you or whatever, but an opposite sex version of yourself, same life experiences, same likes, same dislikes, same strangely pungent ham scent that follows you everywhere. Got it? So you're going on a first date with this person, and you just know ya like said person, you don't know that they're otherwise "you" to a T. So are you really enamored with your date, or bored to tears by their strikingly similar life experiences?

Please answer in five paragraphs, double spaced. Due 12/8.

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 18:50:16 GMT

Let me just make this clear to everyone...

The Democrats take Congress and the House of Representitives
Donald Rumsfeld steps down
The McDonalds McRib Sandwich returns

See? Complete universal 180.

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 18:05:37 GMT

Good news, everyone, I uploaded the minutes for the last meeting.

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 18:52:27 GMT

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 13:26:44 GMT

Today marks the birth of both James Woods and myself. I aspire to one day voice a character in Kingdom Hearts.

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 02:20:36 GMT

Dear Diary,

Today I went to NYC.

I hate NYC.

And it, with its black heart of pure dead evil hobo, hates me.

I was ready for it, I was prepared.

And then it snowed on me for two hours.

I shall not succumb! I'll see you in Hell, NYC!

xoxo
Bob

PS- The Producers was keen

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 19:25:39 GMT

There, all done.

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 03:40:11 GMT

I'm Super, Thanks for Asking

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 18:54:46 GMT

I recently found a book on Superman at the local discount book store (dictionaries sold by the pound!) not published by DC. Basically, it, Superman: The Complete History, is a tell-all on the history of Superman, including the parts that DC encyclopedias rarely mention, like the musical. There was a Superman musical. Reading the book made me realize there are a lot of publicly held notions about Superman, but some of them are simply not true. So, for the betterment of all mankind, do find ten true and false statements about The Man of Super below.

Superman is more powerful than you could ever imagine. TRUE

Superman:
- invincible
- can fly
- strong enough to move entire planets
- shoot laser beams from his eyes
- can breath ice
- can breath hurricanes
- super ventriloquism
- super hearing
- super freestyle rap battle skillz
- flying into the sun makes him stronger
- immune to space imploding
- can see through nigh anything
- shoot rainbow rays of some sort
- nearly immortal
- supposed to be a genius (see #2 below)
- fast as all get out
- hypnotic powers
Ever hear the expression "dead one hundred times before you hit the ground"? Yeah, Superman can kill you a billion different ways before you even know it, and still have time to laugh at your tiny genitals. Come to think of it, basically every orifice of the Man of Steel produces some kind of superpower, but he hasn't showcased any powers based on exposing... things. Yet. I smell new maxi-series...

(Article Continues at Chickfistmagnet.com)

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 20:39:53 GMT

National
Bush Addresses Nation
"Terror Ball will be stopped! Canada will pay!"

President Bush addressed what is left of the nation today after the attack of what is being now called "The Terror Ball".

"The Terror Ball will be stopped, and we will reclaim the people, homes, and freedom claimed by the Terror Ball. The Statue of Liberty will be retrieved, because no giant ball of terror can ever take away our liberty. Our liberty will stand up to this terror, and our liberty will stand true. It is our freedom, our liberty, that will stop this terror, and terror will not stand against our freedom."

Bush continued to use the words "terror", "freedom", and "liberty" well into the night.

Terror Ball relief will be sent to New York, Hollywood, and other cities affected by the ball of death. When asked where President Bush would find the money to rebuild, in New York City's case, an entire island, island included, President Bush simply nodded his head and claimed that we would "stay the course".

President Bush claims we will bring the creators of the Ball of Terror to justice, and, having noticed that Canada was not affected by the Ball of Terror, immediately declared war on our neighbors to the north. Troops are already stretched to the limit fighting the insurgents in Iraq who caused the devastation of 9/11, so it is unknown how we will fight this war on the Ball of Terror.

"Oh, come on, it's Canada," Bush responded when asked about his latest war. "We should have these guys under our yolk in a week, eh. Eh! Get it?" the president then laughed to himself until he fell out of his chair.

(Article Continues at Chickfistmagnet.com)

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 14:56:54 GMT

Back in my day, music super stars used to shoot each other, now they just "pwn" each other. Man is the entertainment industry not trying.

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 18:36:26 GMT

Article continues at Chickfistmagnet.com
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Mon, 19 Sep 2005 13:07:24 GMT

Yaaaaaar guess what today be?

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 18:42:18 GMT

It has come to my attention that every nerd out there has taken the time to download Final Fantasy: Advent Children here on the Internet. Shame on all of you! Can't you be a real fan boy and just wait for the damn movie? Back in my day, we'd wait months for our Neon Genesis VHS tapes to come out like every other month. And we liked it!

Anyway, I used my time machine to procure my copy of FF:AC, so I have the only legal copy in America. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Anywho, for the whole six of you that are waiting until November, I am providing a public service with 70 different shots chronicling the first 50 or so minutes of the latest Square-Enix production. Enjoy the show below!

Oh, if you wouldn't like the movie spoiled, in more ways than one, I wouldn't click the link.

Article continues at Chickfistmagnet.com
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